Holla Holla Holla

I went to South Beach (Miami) with my boys one Memorial Day Weekend. The episode of Dave Chappelle aired recently where he did a sketch of the holla dating service:

So I thought it would be fun and funny to holler at chicks like that. I would be walking past a chick or as a girl would walk past me I’d go “holla holla holla holla lemme holla atcha lemme holla atcha lemme holla holla holla holla” I was inhibriated for most of the time we were there, but even when I was sober and lucid, I used it. I guess the girls there thought it was funny, cute, or had seen that episode of Chappelle, because my success rate at talking to them and getting their number was unprecedented. I got about 40 numbers using that method while I was down there. Ask me how many I called? 0. zilch. nada. Why would I do that you might ask? Well, I had to be realistic about the situation. We were there for only 2.5 days, I was piled up in a room with 5 other niggas, and most chicks were piled up in rooms with at least 2 or 3 girls. They also lived far away from me, as a lot had flown in from across the country, and I wasn’t about to be traveling to see some girl I met on South Beach after talking to her for 5 minutes that probably wouldn’t remember who the hell I was.

Now, to approach a woman this way is not my m.o., and it was purely a function of the occasion. I’m more of the “Excuse me…How are you doing? I’m Corduroy, what’s your name?” It’s nothing extravagant, but it’s never disrespectful or crass. But for the guys that approach women in a similar “holla holla” fashion, those guys that call you “baby”, or “shawty”, or “ma”, I’d like to plead their defense to all you women who are turned off because they are calling you something other than your name.

I’m not saying that your heart should get all aflutter because some dude is like “Ay Shawty, whatcho name is?” or “Hey Ma, what’s really good?” (I think that’s what those New York gents say), but I implore you to look underneath his words and see his intent.

“Ay Shawty, whatcho name is”

is translated to

“Excuse me miss…I couldn’t help but notice you, and I find you attractive. I’d like to get to know you better, and I’d like to start what could be the most wonderful relationship for the both of us by knowing your name. Shall we proceed down the path that leads to the harmony of our souls and along the way experience sharing, caring, laughter, and sexual enlightenment, or would you rather part ways, never to know the potential of what could be the forever of your dreams?”

What the guy is saying is that he finds you appealing. Appealing enough to risk the damage to his ego in the face of potential rejection. Think about it..

It reminds me of the worst time I got dissed. I was 19 and went to school in the AUC in Atlanta, Georgia. Me and my boys went to some college party at what was then the Platinum House. There was a courtyard area where plenty of people were socializing to get out of the hot club. My boys were talking and out the corner of my eye was a girl sitting down with her friends. She was a cutie from what I could remember. So i sauntered over there and stooped down. With an outstretched hand I said:

“Excuse me, I couldn’t help but notice you over there. My name is Corduroy. What’s yours?”

She looked at me, looked at my hand, then turned to her girls and said:

“Girl…………his game is so WEAK!!”

Now I’m not the one to be like “Well F*CK YOU BITCH! YOU’RE NOT ALL THAT ANYWAY!” because for one, that’s not how I was raised, for two, I think it’s pretty childish and sour grapes because all is fair in love and war and you win some and you lose some. Also, for three, Karma is a bitch, and it’ll probably come back to bite her monkey ass for being a bitch.

I just stood up, and walked back to my friends with my tail between my legs. I don’t think I said much to anyone the rest of that night.

In retrospect, she was one of those girls that probably would have required that I spit game with lines and “baby” this and “shawty” that. She probably would have been receptive to me spitting game on her like Pimpin Ken. But from the outset, she looked like a well kempt, sweet, respectable college girl.

What that says is this: How is a guy supposed to know what a woman will be receptive to by not having spoken to her before? Some poised, polished, educated and professional women like thugs, so I have been told. Not to be stereotypical, but do you think ALL of these dudes are saying all of the right things, enunciating words correctly and speaking in an intelligent manner? Methinks not.

I mean, it’s not like the dude is saying “Hey BITCH, come here!” He is trying to get your attention and know you better, so would it make sense for him to KNOWINGLY disrespect you? That would work AGAINST his efforts!

We men are simple creatures of habit and one thing I can tell you is this: We do what works for us. That means that if we get a pretty good response using one method or another, that is usually the one we are going to go with. Dude that is saying “Hey Ma” probably has had pretty good success calling women Ma. The dude that calls you “shawty” probably has had more women give him their number than those who didn’t. Think about it.

Know this, I am not condoning disrespect. For guys that talk about your body parts, pull on you, and use overt sexual innuendos, they should rightfully be shunned. But next time a guy is like “Holla, holla, holla, holla, lemme holla atcha, lemme holla atcha”, just give that dude a chance. You may be pleasantly surprised!

Post your thoughts, if you would be so kind!