divine!
Kelly
I dedicated this little snippet to Kelly Rowland of destiny’s child. She USED to be my favorite member of the group, but no longer. Her heart should be breaking right about…..now.
I was in Houston in the Galleria mall on a Wednesday afternoon. (Off days at the mall are the best places and times to see a celeb it seems like) I went in Zara, a store that is based out of Spain because I like the fit of their shirts, sweaters, and jackets. I’m a muscular guy, so they fit just right, but I have to go up a size to XL because Spanish people are smaller than us big ole giants over here in the US. Now don’t think I walk around looking like the guy in the club with the tight spandex shirt showing off all his muscles and sh!t, cause I don’t. If I did that, I might as well get a tattoo across my forehead that says “I am lame and insecure. Kill me please.” I don’t even think about trying on their pants because since Spanish guys are smaller, they truly have that European fit going on, and I’m a black dude with an ass. Not a good look.
Anyway, so as I was leaving the store, I saw a slim sexy thang looking through clothes with some black tights on and a white shirt like she just came from working out. I thought to myself “Wow! She’s something else!” She looked familiar but I had to pause before it donned on me that it was Kelly. In my mind I’m like “F*ck it, I gotta say something to her.” So I walk over to her and I say “Excuse me, Kelly? How are you doing? I’m Corduroy!” and I shook her hand. She shook mine and said “Hello!” and I told her “I gotta tell you Kelly, you are my favorite member of the group!”
Yeah I know, corny as hell, but it was the truth. Beyonce never really did it for me. She’s OK, but with the lightskin long hair thing (in her case, long weave) , I’m not easily fooled into thinking that it’s the standard for black beauty. Don’t get me wrong, there are beautiful lightskin sisters as well as beautiful darkskin sisters, but I think ALL black is beautiful no matter the shade, so I look past the complexion to see the beauty. Kelly wins HANDS DOWN. The cheekbones, the pretty eyes, the lips, the figure….sigh……I sure liked her better when she had her short hairstyle which was probably all her real hair. I HATE WEAVE – just my preference.
So I left the store and then I remembered I had my camera phone on me and thought “Man, the fellas won’t believe this one!” and I went back, and as I was pulling out my phone, smiling, fully expecting her to let me take a picture with her, she cut me off at the pass and said “I’m sorry I don’t take pictures.” My smile drooped into a half smile and I said “Oh ok. I understand.”
Really I didn’t!! Look at her career in the states!! She gets NO love here! She NEEDS all the attention we are willing to give her! She even picked up and moved to Europe and started dating shrimpy little European dudes to make her defect complete! I guess she’s trying to be 2008 Tina Turner. Whatever. go figure. Here’s to you Kelly:
NO LOVE
ok, that’s it! i can’t come here anymore while i’m at work!! people must think i’m either insane or doing something mad suspicious when they come in here and i’m staring at my computer dying laughing.
i didn’t know she moved to Europe!! wow.
that is a beautiful pic of her.
Awww come on dragonfly!! Ok I promise I will be serious next time so you can stop by and holla atcha boy!
alright…but can i come stay with you if they fire me and i can’t pay my rent?
no, don’t start posting “serious” stuff on account of me. i’ll just have to learn how to stifle my guffawing.
lol. bet
Wait!! Not the baby finger!!!! I’m cracking up, which is NOT helping my headache. Oh, how I can’t stand you right now. LOL!!!!
I’m sure Kelly’s heart is hurting even as I type. LOL!!!!!
You were so indignant about it. Too funny. Too funny.
I guess it’s safe to assume Kelly’s no longer your fav member of DC?
Hilarious! LOL!
You hurt poor Kelly’s feelings with that baby finger. And I’m with you on the weave tip. I don’t care if everybody on earth wears one. I HATE weave. ESPECIALLY when I see, like, a 5-year-old walking around with one. That irks me so much. I can see for health reasons (i.e. chemo) and things like that, but weave does so much damage to your REAL hair.
I’ll stop here. Because… as you can see… I could go on. LOL.
My bad. You did say that upfront. What she meant was that “I don’t allow relative nobodies, even though they’re fans and they pay my way though celebritydom, take my photo. I only take pictures at real events.”
Yeah Pro, pretty safe to say. Not taking the pic and then defecting to Europe to frolic with little European men is like adding insult to injury. I’ll get on the bandwagon of all the Beyonce lovers, even though I think she has little baby teeth.
“If I did that, I might as well get a tattoo across my forehead that says “I am lame and insecure. Kill me please.””
That is HILLARIOUS!!! mainly because I was with a guy that was like that…. he actually would walk around in sleeveless, or tight shirts and STRUT.
LOL you are so funny and i feel you on the weave